๐–œ๐–—๐–Š๐–™๐–ˆ๐–๐–Š๐–‰ ๐Ÿฅ€

but what do I know

My husband just stuffed the last piece of cinnamon roll pancake in his mouth before I could realize what was happeningโ€ฆ thus acknowledging that he in fact does not love me.

Bit from Anxious People that made me go this shit right here!

The truth of course is that if people really were as happy as they look on the Internet, they wouldnโ€™t spend so much damn time on the Internet, because no one whoโ€™s having a really good day spends half of it taking pictures of themselves.

And donโ€™t even get me started on the captions for said pictures.

Anxiety

I worry that life only goes downhill from here. I worry about my grandparents. I worry about my dogs. My developer job getting gobbled up by AI. I worry about my relationship. I worry about my health. I worry about the state of the world. I donโ€™t know that Iโ€™m equipped for more struggles than those Iโ€™ve already surpassed. The fight it took to get where I am, nearly ended me and yet I live every day in fear. Itโ€™s not fair. Why canโ€™t I reap the benefits of what Iโ€™ve sewn for the rest of my life? Havenโ€™t I โ€œsewnโ€ enough? If life is certainly an ebb and flow, then my worry is itโ€™s only a matter of time before the downhill.

Why canโ€™t we get a save & exit button for life? One that comes without judgement or guilt. One that lets us leave while we still have a fresh mental image of all thatโ€™s good before it gets ripped away.

Today

Iโ€™m enjoying Ghosts (the UK version). I only just started it but itโ€™s really funny. Sometimes I just want background noise while I play on my iPad but this show deserves my full attention.